Visitors
by Shkoink
Summary: Following the aftermath of the shooting. Different characters visit Jac throughout her recovery.
1. Chapter 1

Fletch POV

One by one my colleagues left ITU, leaving just Sacha and myself.

"Has anyone called Jonny? He needs to be told that Jac has been shot. Dom has called Zosia, and she'll be on the first plane to Holby. I have to talk to the press, can you call him?"

"Fine."

I didn't want to leave Jac and Ollie by themselves, after all that had happened today but someone needed to make the call. The conversation only took a few minutes, yet it felt like it had been hours since I had stepped out of ITU. Jonny had been aware of the shooting but was unaware that Jac had been shot, as none of the names had been released. Jonny was going to be here as soon as possible to pick up Emma who was being entertained by Donna. I went back into ITU and sat down in between both beds.

"Fletch," Jonny called bringing me out of my thoughts. I didn't realise how much time had passed. "Are you alright? I heard about Raf, I know you guys were best mates."

"He was more than a friend. He helped me when I was at my lowest point. Yet one person has taken away the one person that I can depend on, whilst hurting others that I love. No I am not alright."

"I had to see for myself. Jac is strong, especially after all we've been through together, yet she lays here barely alive and the most vulnerable I have ever seen her. I can't imagine how someone can bring a gun and kill innocent people, and it being Hanssen's son."

"She and Ollie nearly didn't make it, they were lucky that they were in the best hospital in the country. Jac will wake up in a couple of days, but she will still need multiple surgeries. You'll have to look after Emma for at least a month, but I'll be happy to help you and I'm sure Sacha will also be happy to help. Ollie is in an induced coma, they'll wait until his brain activity improves before waking him up, which might be in a few weeks."

"I have to go, but I'll be in touch."

"I'll let you know of any changes. Stay safe."

As Jonny left Sacha walked in.

"You should go home, your kids need you. I'll watch over them."

"I don't know if I can, I'll have to tell them about Uncle Raf and the shooting. I can't tell them that they'll never see Raf again. They've already lost their mother."

"They know about the shooting and that you were at the hospital, they need to see that you are okay. Go home, rest and come back tomorrow. It is going to be a long week."

"How do we keep going after all that has happened, go home to our families and continue with our lives as if the shooting never happened."

"We must, for our children. They need normality"

With that, I left Sacha on the night watch protecting Jac and Ollie.

* * *

Sacha POV

I noticed it was now midnight when I looked up at the clock. Fletch had left me on my own 3 hours ago. I felt like I had aged 10 years in one day. I had never thought that I would have to do emergency surgery on my best friend to save her life. I thought she was going to bleed out and die, but somehow Gaskell's experimental patch had worked, and we were able to stem the bleed. When the all clear was given, Gaskell and I had rushed to take Jac up to theatre, and our worst fears were founded. Raf was killed by a shot in the jugular. I ran upstairs to comfort Essie as she heard Raf's final voicemail to her. I would have stayed longer, but I was needed in surgery to remove the bullet in Jac's abdomen. Connie being the only CT surgeon available had helped me with the cardiac complications. Jac would need more surgeries to improve her lung function, and will need weeks of physiotherapy, but at least she will make a full recovery.

Ollie may never be the same again. He may never walk again, may never remember his life at Holby, or his marriage to Zosia. He might never be able to practice again as a surgeon. Ollie had been through a lot already with the death of his sister Penny, and Tara his first wife. He deserved to live a long happy life. Roxanna had been able to stabilise Ollie, and stop the bleed. He would have certainly died if he had not been in theatre, but he may not have been shot in the first place if he had not been in surgery. Both his friends will need strength to move on from the shooting.

Essie and Roxanna have both lost their husbands, the next few weeks will be the hardest weeks of their lives. After talking to the police, Hanssen had locked himself in his office. No one knew what to say to him. The shooting had changed the haven that he and his colleagues had once called a home away from home.

The minutes ticked by as the ominous ticking around him symbolised every heartbeat, and breath his friend's took. He continued sitting in ITU and did not notice the first rays of light, symbolising the start of a new day.

He was woken up from his stupor by the door being opened by Fletch. It was 8 in the morning. Fletch looked solemn and as if he had not been able to sleep.

"Sacha, you should go get some sleep. I'll take the day shift."

"Did you talk to your children?"

Fletch was unable to meet my eyes. "I told them that Uncle Raf was no longer with us. The older kids understood what I meant, but I could not explain to Ella and Theo about the shooting. I could not sleep, my mind was going over everything that had happened. I feel guilty leaving them with the nanny, but I had to come back to see that Jac and Ollie were still okay."

"You love her, I can see it in your eyes. When she broke down yesterday, you were there to help her, you saw the pain and grief in her eyes."

"I don't know what will happen now, but I am staying here and keeping watch."


	2. Chapter 2

Fletch POV

As the winter morning sun illuminated the room nurses continued to come in and out of ITU to take observations. With a number of blood infusions Jac and Ollie's heart rate and blood pressure were beginning to normalise and they were looking less pale. It would take a number of weeks for their bodies to replenish the blood loss. Although Jac will be very weak, she should wake up within the next 24 hours which will be a relief. Throughout the morning different colleagues come by to visit.

Roxanna is still in charge of Ollie's care and comes by every couple of hours. I can see from her face that she felt guilty for what had happened, and could not handle the grief of losing her husband, so she came into work today.

"Roxanna shouldn't you be at home on compassionate leave?"

"I don't think I can face going home after losing David, and I wanted to take on Ollie's case. He stepped in front of Dr Digby and me, and saved our lives, the least I can do is to try and save his. I couldn't save his wife Tara, but I can save him."

"I understand that, but you need to take some time for yourself. You won't be able to help anyone if you run yourself into the ground"

"You are still here, grieving like the rest of us. We have to grieve in our own way."

With that Roxanna left the room.

A couple of hours pass when Dominic and Lofty come by nervously. They both looked a bit uncertain whether they were doing the right thing. I hug Lofty sympathetically, whilst giving Dom a brief smile. Dom had worked with Fredrik during his brief time at Holby, and although it was not his intention the junior doctor prize had shown that Hanssen had chosen Dom over his own son.

"Look Dom, you don't have to do this, the shooting was not your fault. Fredrik made his choices, you could not have known that he would do this."

"I feel like I antagonised him, even if it was unintentionally. I just wanted to prove myself after Isaac."

"I know, as I said no one blames you. Take care, we need to look after each other."

Lofty places two cards by the two beds before leaving the room. Typical Lofty, it is always the small things that he does that makes a difference.

I don't mean to, but I end up falling asleep for a few hours. The monotony of ITU life getting to me. As I begin to wake up I see Sacha Levy's figure sitting opposite me. It was now 2PM.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have fallen asleep."

"You're human, you need to rest."

"Has anything changed?" I'm annoyed at myself for not staying awake in case something happens.

"No. Have you thought about when you'll return back to work?"

"That depends on when Jac wakes up. I'll probably return sometime next week, I can imagine that they'll transfer Jac onto Darwin with all her CT complications. I'll be able to keep an eye on her from there. How about you?"

"I think I'll need to start working in a couple of days. We don't have many surgeons left, and we can't rely on locums forever. Gaskell and Hanssen want me to run AAU, so that we'll able to open our doors to new admissions."

"I see."

"I think we should put a screen between Jac and Ollie's bed. I don't think it will help Jac to see Ollie lying next to her when she wakes up."

"She'll find out eventually, and Zosia will be here soon. I don't think we'll be able to keep Zosia away from Ollie. Jac will work it out if Zosia is sitting by Ollie's bedside 24/7."

"We'll work something out. We could put Jac in HDU on Darwin when she wakes up. For the first few days she'll be vulnerable, and seeing Ollie with a head wound will probably upset her. When she's less weak we'll tell her."

Sacha steps out of the room for a few minutes to go find a nurse. When he comes back two screens are set up.

For the next hour we go back to an uncomfortable silence, with the machines and nurses being the only source of noise. Roxanna makes another quick appearance to check on Ollie, but after our conversation earlier it is clear she wants to escape the room quickly.

At around 4PM Zosia arrives. Sacha walks up to her to give her one of his bear hugs. I acknowledge her presence with a small nod, but I leave her to chat with Sacha.

"How much do you know?" Sacha asks.

"Dom told me everything, how it was Hanssen's son who came here with a gun and shot Jac, Ollie and Raf, and that Raf is dead. I know that Ollie may have severe brain damage, and may never be a surgeon again."

"We have to take things slowly day by day. Ollie will remain in an induced coma until the swelling around his brain reduces, only then can we safely wake him up."

"How is Jac doing?"

"Jac will wake up by tomorrow morning, but she will probably be stuck as a patient for a month or two. She'll need more surgery, but we have no more permanent CT surgeons. Connie Beauchamp had to perform the surgery with me to remove the bullet, but she needs to work in the ED."

"What happened to Matteo and Damon, don't they work here."

"They both left a couple of weeks ago with Nina. Jac and Ollie were holding the fort until the shooting happened."

"Maybe I can help out on Darwin, I'll be around for a while. Yale has put my placement on hold in light of what has happened."

"You will have to talk to Hanssen about it, although he has locked himself in his ivory tower and he may not be open to visitors."

"Okay, I'll stay here tonight. I don't think the jet lag will let me sleep until tomorrow morning."

At this point I interrupt the conversation.

"We have decided to put a screen between Jac and Ollie. We don't want Jac to see Ollie when she wakes up. If you're going to stay here tonight you need to remain behind the screen."

"What if she wakes up, and I'm the only person around?"

"I'll stay here tonight, just in case. When she wakes up, we'll move her to HDU, which should make things easier," I reply.

"No I'll stay here tonight, you shouldn't make your kids worried. Maybe you should go home now, I promise I'll text you when she wakes up." Sacha says.

"Fine, but Zosia stay behind the screen please until Jac has been transferred. I'll let the nurses know of the transfer on my way out. Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

Sacha POV

I prepared myself for another night spent in ITU watching over my friends. I am grateful that I am not alone tonight, although I can see the sorrow in Zosia's eyes as she sits by her husband's bed. It has been 3 months since I last saw Zosia since she flew to America for her Yale placement, and it seems as though the distance has been good for her. Briefly our eyes meet.

"Have you missed Holby?" I ask.

"Holby is home, I miss my friends and not seeing them at work every day. Although I have enjoyed my time at Yale, I haven't done anything for myself in a while, even though the timing wasn't the greatest, with Ollie and I just getting married and my dad going off the rails with his drinking problem. Then again that was why I had to put myself first."

"It is great to see you, although I wish it was under better circumstances. How's your dad doing?"

"I think losing his reputation has finally made him accept therapy, and help from others. Did you know that Ollie was visiting my dad once a week to watch blue planet? After all that has happened between them, he visits my dad for me whilst I am away. I missed Ollie's kindness and companionship. For all I know he might not even remember me."

"Don't give up hope. Roxanna, Ollie's neurosurgeon has not been able to take out the bullet yet due to the swelling, but once he wakes up I'm sure she'll remove the bullet which should reduce memory loss."

Zosia kept quiet so I left her to her thoughts. There was something different about Zosia, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I notice Jac's heart rate has started to increase slightly, I motion to Zosia that Jac was starting to wake up. I walk over to Jac's bed and squeeze her hand, she squeezes my hand back softly. Zosia had gone to alert the nurses on the night shift, as we were now ready to move Jac onto HDU.

"It's okay Jac, you're going to be okay." I whisper to my friend whilst one of the nurses removes her breathing tube. "Do you know where you are?"

"Holby City ITU," Jac replies with a dry croaky voice.

"Well done, we're moving you to HDU now. Try not to speak too much, is there anything you need?"

"Water."

"Okay, I'll get you some water when you're in HDU."

We make it to Darwin after a few minutes. I notice that HDU had been prepared ahead of Jac's transfer.

"Do you remember what happened? Just nod or shake your head." I can tell Jac struggles to remember what happened, but it's because she's in a daze. She shakes her head in response. I hold up a cup with a straw so that she can take a few sips of water.

"Go to sleep for a bit, I'll be here when you wake up."

As Jac falls asleep I text Fletch saying, 'Jac woke up for about 15 minutes. Stay home for the time being as she's gone back to sleep and will wake up again in a few hours.'

I decide to stretch my legs as I had a few hours until Jac fully wakes up. I go back ITU and find Zosia talking to one of the nurses. I decide to give her some space, instead I head over to Mr Hanssen's office. I courteously knock on the door, waiting for Mr Hanssen to let me in.

"Come in, Mr Levy how can I help you?"

"I thought you'd like to know that Jac has woken up."

"That is good to hear."

"She's sleeping now, but when she wakes up she'll be more alert. I heard Mrs Beauchamp has been taken ill, we need a CT surgeon to help treat Jac as she'll need a few more surgeries."

"I'll see what I can do, is that all?"

"Could you cascade an email to everyone telling them that Jac has woken up. I think everyone wants to know how Jac and Ollie are doing, and this good news could raise moral. Jac will want some space as she is very weak, if you could mention that if anyone wants to visit, they should email me first. She couldn't remember what happened, but I'll have to explain to her what happened to Ollie and Raf, as she would want to know."

"I shall do that, have a good day."

Mr Hanssen seemed on edge, as if he was about to burst. The shooting had affected him pretty badly, as his son had killed two people, directly and indirectly whilst critically injuring two others. He had helped Gaskell, Essie and I look after Jac, watching a colleague and a friend almost die because of his son. On top of that his only son had died. I don't think he will cope for much longer.

Walking back to Darwin I see Fletch pacing outside HDU. Thankfully Jac was still sleeping, she needs the energy.

"Fletch, I know you want to see Jac awake, but she needs her rest, and I don't want you to overwhelm her. She is very weak and doesn't remember that she was shot."

"How are we going to tell her about Ollie and Raf? She asked Ollie to do the surgery on David, Roxanna's husband, she'll feel guilty that he was shot in the head."

"We can't change what has happened, we will all need some time to recover from the shooting mentally. Jac will have to deal with both the mental and physical injuries."

"I wish it wasn't her who had been shot, she has had to deal with so much this year."

"This is Jac Naylor you are talking about, she's a fighter, and she will survive."

We both walk into HDU, and wait for Jac to wake up from her sleep. At around 11AM Jac opens her eyes for the second time today.

"Why does my whole body ache?" Her facial expression changes as she remembers what had happened. "I was shot."


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a quick thanks to those who have reviewed the story so far. I don't want to give away any spoilers for later chapters, but I will say that the story will diverge slightly from what we have seen in the last few episodes of Holby, but using the episodes as a guidance on how to write the story. I aim to update the story once or twice or week depending on my workload.**

Jac POV

Looking at Sacha and Fletch I could tell that they were hiding something, something greater than me getting shot.

"What happened?" I ask.

They look at each other instinctively, unsure whether or not to tell me what they were hiding.

"Look I can tell you are hiding something. I am lying here after being shot, I can barely feel my legs, whatever it is I can handle it."

"Take it easy, I know you think you can handle the information, but we don't think you are ready to hear it," Sacha says comfortingly

"Hanssen's son shot me and I'm still here, I think I can handle it." I'm starting to get annoyed at the pair, I may feel like I've been run over by a truck, but I want to know if anyone else had been hurt.

"It will be hard to digest, but if you are sure," Sacha replies.

I nod in response.

"The power had been cut off on AAU, I was in the wet lab with Gaskell, Essie and Hanssen when we heard a bang. The phone rang a few seconds later and we were told that the power had gone out on AAU, so we thought that the noise we heard was the fuse going off. A few minutes later the phone rang again telling us that someone had fired a gun on AAU. I was going to help on AAU when I found you by the stairwell, at that point Hanssen had instigated the major incident procedure, turning off the lifts. The four of us had brought you to the wet lab to try and stem the bleed. We didn't have any patches, so we tried using the tampons we found in your bag. The bullet had nicked the aorta, and the tampons weren't able to stop the bleed so Gaskell decided to try and print a patch from his 3D printer. I was against it, but it was the only choice we had left."

"Wait you said a second shot had been fired," I interrupted.

"I'll get to it, let me finish without interruptions," Sacha said looking slightly annoyed. "The phone rang a third time letting us know that the gunman had been identified as Fredrik. Hanssen had decided to run off to find Fredrik, to try and stop him from shooting anyone else. The patch was now ready to be used, and by some sort of miracle you had stopped bleeding. Hanssen had made his way up to Darwin where Ollie, Roxanna and Morven were operating or watching the procedure on David. Fredrik had used his knowledge of the access codes to get in." Sacha stopped as he was struggling to continue.

"Who," I ask as I meet Sacha's eyes.

"Ollie, he was shot in the head, but he is still alive somehow. He was lying next to you on ITU, we hid him as we didn't want you to see him straight away. Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes," I say remembering the unaccounted shot that was mentioned earlier.

"Fredrik and Hanssen faced off outside Keller, Dominic had barricaded the ward, but Fredrik would have been able to break in regardless. In the end the police guard shot Fredrik and he died from his wound. Essie had left Gaskell and me to take you up to theatre, as the lifts were being turned back on. We found Raf dead in the lift, he was shot in the jugular and locked in the lift. David did not survive the operation as Ollie was shot mid operation. I operated on you with Connie Beauchamp to remove the bullet, which had split apart as it hit your ribcage from the back. The bullet pieces had lodged themselves around the heart, lungs and spine, although you are lucky none of those were hit. The pieces around your spine explain why you can't feel your legs, the area around your spine is swollen."

"I see," I say as tears were running down my face.

"I would give you a Sacha special hug, but I don't want to risk any further injuries," Sacha says sympathetically.

"What a relief," I mutter with a small smile.

Sacha chuckled in response.

"Sacha you said that Jac will need a CT scan to check if there are any bullet pieces remaining," Fletch says bringing us out of our moment of bonding.

"Yes, I'm afraid you have to prepare yourself for a long stay. Fletch if you can book a priority CT scan slot, we can talk about your recovery plan after the scan." Sacha replies.

Fletch left the room to book a CT scan.

"Whilst we are waiting for CT, a few members of staff have emailed me to ask when they could come and visit you."

"I don't want any visitors, I don't want anyone to see me like this unless they need to."

"What about Emma? Jonny has been telling me that she is missing her mum."

"He hasn't told her what happened? She's only four years old."

"Don't worry he hasn't, but she is smart and can tell something is wrong. Even Jonny is worried. How about a phone call? At least Emma can hear your voice."

"Maybe." Before I continue my sentence, I am hit with a painful coughing fit.

"Easy there, are you okay?" Sacha asks as he increase the angle of the bed, so that I am not lying flat.

"Do I look okay?"

"Jac I know this is hard for you, but please don't be hard on yourself, or the doctors that are trying to treat you. We only want you to get better."

"I'm frustrated that I am stuck like this."

"Look I will let our colleagues know that you want some space. I'll still be around as I am the general surgeon who is treating you, even though I am currently not on duty."

We have a few moments of silence, whilst I digest everything that I have been told.

"What about Raf's funeral?"

"It will be held in Scotland in a couple of days, so that his family can pay their respects."

"How's Fletch doing? The two of them were practically married."

"He's been so focussed on you that he has not properly grieved for Raf, though he said telling his kids was the hardest thing he had to do for a long time. The hospital is broken after the shooting, most of us are barely keeping it together."

Fletch walked back into the room, letting us know that CT was ready for me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

 **Fletch POV**

"Have you got a copy of the CT scan?" Jac asks as I walk into HDU.

"Yes, it's not good news I'm afraid, the scan shows that there are two small pieces of the bullet lodged near the spine. Those pieces are contributing to the swelling around the spine. When you are a bit stronger we will have to take them out."

"When do you expect the surgery to take place?"

"Realistically not before Monday, as it's already Thursday, and you won't be strong enough until the weekend."

"Oh lovely, that will definitely extend the length of my recovery time."

"Jac you have just been shot in the back, you need the rest," Fletch said exasperatedly. "Just don't make any of my nurses quit please."

I decided to leave the room as I noticed that Jac was begin to doze off. A nap would help her regain some energy that the blood loss had taken away.

"Fletch I need to go home now. When Jac wakes up from her nap, could you talk to her about having some visitors, and maybe chatting a bit with Emma?" Sacha asks me.

"She may be very weak, but she can still come up with sarcastic remarks. Hopefully she'll wake up in a good mood."

For the next couple of hours I look at the nursing schedule for the coming fortnight. I was planning on helping out on Darwin, as the Ice Queen of Darwin being a patient on the ward will make things a lot harder for the nurses. I'll also be able to help out as a scrub nurse during Jac's operation next week. An alarm goes off telling me that a patient is in distress, looking into HDU I see that Jac is having a nightmare, but her other vital signs seem to be okay.

"Jac wake up, you're okay I'm here now. You're safe on Darwin HDU."

Jac begins to calm down as she realises that her nightmare was just a dream.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"I won't judge you I promise. It will probably make you feel better if you talk about it."

"It was him, I was back in the basement but this time he had shot you, Sacha, Emma."

"It was just a nightmare, Sacha and I are okay and Emma is with Jonny. Would you feel better if you spoke with Emma?"

"I don't want Emma to hear me all frail and weak."

"I've spoken to Jonny, and she really wants to see her mummy. I know she can't right now but a phone call could make you both happier. I can try talking to Jonny now."

"What if he says no?"

"With my powers of persuasion?" I joke, and I see a smile starting to emerge on Jac's face. "I'll have to go outside though. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I text Jonny to see if he was with Emma, and not at work. He texts back immediately saying, 'I'm home preparing dinner, how can I help?'

I reply back asking if I could call him for a few minutes, which he responds with 'okay.'

"Jonny how are you doing with the extra dad duties?"

"I'm doing okay but I need to work this weekend. I've been asked to help out at Holby City due to many nurses needing compassionate leave."

"I see, do you know which ward you'll be working on?"

"Not at the moment."

"If you want to avoid Darwin I can pull some strings and make sure you are put on another ward."

"Actually, I would prefer to be put on Darwin."

"Are you sure? Jac is not an easy patient."

"I know, but it would put my mind at rest if I can check up on her."

"Okay, I'll schedule you on Darwin, we have a number of nurses avoiding Darwin so we definitely have the space. Do you want me to look after Emma this weekend? I'm going to spend some time with my kids at home, so I'll be able to look after her."

"That would be really helpful. Is there anything else you needed?"

"The reason why I called you was because I thought it would be nice if Jac was able to chat with Emma for a bit."

"Emma can have a wee conversation with her mummy. Emma come over here for a minute, mummy wants to chat with you. Bye Fletch, thanks for your help."

I walk back onto the ward, and head straight for HDU.

"Jac, Emma is on the phone."

I give Jac some privacy as she talks to her daughter. Although Emma won't see her mummy for a while, she can at least talk to her every so often to reassure her that mummy will be okay. I notice the conversation ending abruptly as Jac has a coughing fit.

"That doesn't sound so good."

"What do you expect, I've just been shot."

"Well you may be developing secondary complications, we'll have to keep an eye on that cough," I say. "I want to let you know that I will be spending the weekend at home, as I need to spend some time with my kids. Jonny is working both Saturday and Sunday, so I volunteered to look after Emma."

"I see, I guess Jonny needs a break."

"There's another thing, Jonny is going to be working on Darwin this weekend as we have many nurses on compassionate leave."

"Do I have a say in anything that goes on here, I don't know if I want Jonny working here when I'm like this."

"At the moment you are not the Ice Queen of Darwin, but a patient. Unfortunately members of staff who work here will have to treat you, and see you at your weakest. They are not judging you, they know that anyone could have been shot, and they want to help you. They want to see you get better."

"I don't know how to deal with this, especially after Jasmine."

"You should talk to someone."

"No, I don't want to talk to a know it all therapist."

"The 'know it all therapist' could help you process all that has happened this year. You had a nightmare earlier, you're clearly not coping. Talk to someone, have some visitors. Sacha told me that loads of people want to visit you, it can only help."

"I don't know if I am ready for visitors."

"Why don't you start with one person a day? How about Donna, you've known her the longest."

"Technically I have known Ric the longest, but I guess he is banned from the premises. I'll let you know when I'm ready"

We sit in silence until Jac falls asleep again.


	6. Chapter 6

Jac POV

I wake up as the sun begins to rise on what appears to be a frosty Saturday. My body can tell when the sun begins to rise, even when I'm in pain and suffering from major trauma. As I adjust to the natural lighting I hear the distinctive Scottish voice that belongs to my ex. Great, even though we have separated we are still friends, and he is going to fuss over me for most of the day. Maybe I can pretend to be asleep. Oh great he's seen that I am awake.

"Good morning Jac, it's good to see you awake. I'm going to take some observations now."

"Why do you have to be on Darwin?"

"I want to look after you, is that a problem."

I don't reply but he can tell from my facial expression that I'm uncomfortable.

"Most of the usual nurses on Darwin are scared to look after you, they're afraid you'll sack them if they make a mistake."

"Well."

"Come on don't be like that. You need someone to keep an eye on you, you almost died there is no reason to feel embarrassed. The nurses are struggling after what happened, and a lot of them are ready to quit their jobs, don't push them into quitting."

"How's Emma doing?" I ask to change the topic.

"She misses you so much. I can try and persuade Fletch to let her see you."

"NO!" I shout. I regret the outburst as agonising pain shoots up from the wound.

"Jac take it easy. Why don't you want to see Emma?"

"I don't want her to see her mummy in pain, it would scar her. One day when she's old enough I will tell her what happened, but I need you to be strong for her, and distract her. It's Christmas in a few weeks, if you get her excited then she will forget that I am not able to see her."

"Jac I know you don't like looking weak, but you need some company. Maybe not Emma, but many of your colleagues; friends want to see you. You shouldn't be on you own for the next few weeks, Fletch told me what happened after you were in theatre with Professor Gaskell. It's okay to ask for help. I need to check on some other patients, but I'll be back soon."

Finally Jonny lets me rest in peace. The last time I'd been seriously hurt was when I had my bike accident over 9 years ago, although when I donated my kidney I had made myself very ill after I chased my mother. That was the day I found out about Jasmine. It's ironic that I was shot in the basement, where she had been fatally wounded. With all the recent trauma, I had forgotten about my recent breakdown and resignation. Maybe I have more in common with Ms Campbell then I initially thought; at least I didn't abuse a junior member of staff.

Jonny's company made my day better as he came by every 20 minutes to take some observations. The pain in my chest, and the spinal inflammation do not improve during the course of the day, but the morphine helps dull the pain. Jonny was still around at 7PM when he comes over for a chat.

"I'm going to head off in a little bit as my shift is over. Do you want some company?"

"I suppose."

"Fletch sent me a picture of Emma playing with Theo earlier, would you like to see it?"

I nod in reply.

"They are so cute together, Fletch tells me that they get up to a lot of mischief in the crèche."

"Did he tell you that Emma threw a wooden block at Theo over the summer?"

"No, why didn't you tell me?"

"Do you tell me everything that happens when you look after Emma?"

"Fair enough. Do you want me to get anything from your house? I need to get some of Emma's stuff anyway and I could pick up some comfortable clothes, books, iPad whatever you need."

"Okay, do you know where my handbag is? My keys are probably in there."

"I think Fletch has it somewhere in his office, I'll text him now."

"If you find my phone can you bring it over?"

10 minutes later Jonny returns with my bag.

"I have your keys, but I'll leave your bag here. Your phone is out of battery, so you'll need to charge it."

"Thank you, are you heading off now?"

"Yes I'll see you tomorrow, have a goodnight."

That night my sleep is not disturbed by any nightmare. Maybe I should have some visitors as they do seem to keep the nightmares at bay. When I wake up in the morning I see Jonny working at the nurse's station.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Like I've been shot in the back."

"Not funny Jac."

"Looking forwards to another day where you have to look after me?"

"Well someone has a sense of humour this morning. We are closed to all new admissions so I only have 4 other patients left, you are the VIP on Darwin for the foreseeable future."

"Fletch will have to get some locums to cover the ward, although with the merger happening we should have some permanent staff joining soon."

"Don't worry about Darwin, Fletch will get it up and running again soon. Have you checked your phone yet?"

"No, the night nurse left it out of reach, can you get it for me?"

"There you go, I'll be back soon."

The last time I checked my phone it was when I texted Fletch. I am not surprised to see many messages as it had been 5 days since I've been shot. I see a number of texts from Fletch, Ric, Connie and even Jonny asking where I was during the time of the shooting. A few hours later I see that I get many well wishes from every staff member that I have been in contact with. I also have texts from Zosia, Mo, Matteo and Elliott. I had forgotten about Zosia and how she must be feeling knowing that Ollie has been shot. I wonder if she had come back from America to check on Ollie.

As Jonny comes back to check on me I ask, "Do you know if Zosia is around?"

"Yes, I think she is on Keller. Why are you asking?"

"I forgot that she would want to visit Ollie, is she doing okay?"

"I don't know, she can come and visit if you like?"

"No, she should be with Ollie."

"Okay."

The rest of the day goes slowly, I spend most of the day reading one of the books Jonny brought from my house. He is a good guy, but I don't think we will ever be together again. Too much has happened, and he deserves a happy life.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry for the massive wait, I have nearly all my deadlines this term in the last two weeks. Enjoy**

Sacha POV

It has only been a few days since the extra security had been put in place, but it is already annoying me that it takes an extra 15 minutes to get into the building. I'm feeling apprehensive today as I am going to have to operate on my best friend to remove the remaining pieces of bullet that is in her body. The last few nights of sleep have been plagued with nightmares seeing Jac's lifeless body bleeding out, Raf's body in the lift, and Ollie dying on ITU. It's been almost a week since the shooting and the hospital is now open to new admissions. Finally I am through security and can take the lift to Keller to prepare for the day. I see Professor Gaskell at the nurse's station, we are going to work together to complete Jac's surgery.

"Good morning," I say greeting Gaskell with a smile.

"Good morning to you too Sacha, when you are ready we should talk to Ms Naylor about the surgery."

I quickly get changed into the traditional Keller berry red scrubs, and head up to Darwin. It had been a few days since I last saw Jac, and I was anxious to see how she was doing.

"Good morning Ms Naylor, we just need to go over today's surgery," Gaskell says.

"Go on," Jac replies.

"Sacha and I are going to remove the pieces of the bullet. The two pieces are located close to the spine which is why I am assisting Mr Levy. Due to the CT complications we are doing the surgery on Darwin. We were supposed to have Mrs Beauchamp on standby, but she has been taken ill. We should be fine without her expertise. Are you happy to sign the consent forms?"

"If I don't have this surgery then I could remain paralysed for the rest of my life, is that correct?" Jac asks.

"Yes, it is in your best interests to have this surgery as soon as possible. You will need physiotherapy, and you may get neuropathy after the tissue has healed, but it is better in the long run to have the surgery," Gaskell replies.

"Fine, I'll sign," Jac says.

"Perfect, I'll get a nurse to do your preoperative checks, you're first on the list," Gaskell states.

"Wait I'll do the observations," I say, knowing how Jac feels about semi competent nurses, and the fact that she doesn't like people touching her.

"Thanks," Jac says. "I'm getting sick of all these agency nurses. Jonny was the only somewhat decent one, the rest will probably never step on Darwin again."

"Are you nervous about the surgery?" I ask.

Jac doesn't reply, I guess she doesn't want me to think she is scared.

"Look it is okay to be nervous, but we all know that this is the right decision, it's the only way to get your life back. Gaskell and I saved your life once, and now we will help you walk again." With that I walk out of the room and get prepped for theatre.

Walking into the theatre side room I see Gaskell already scrubbing his hands.

"How are you finding Holby? You were thrown into the deep end on your first day, have you been put off staying here?

"I thrive under pressure, granted I did not expect to have to use experimental unsanitary surgery on a colleague in a life and death situation. I'm surprised that you and Jac are friends, you seem like oil and water."

"It was the clash of personality that brought us together. She used to work on Keller with me, one day we were both assigned to AAU, and we played a game trying to clear the ward as quickly as possible in two teams. In the end we forgot about the side room, and we had an argument in theatre. The patient survived but we were friends from that day onwards. She doesn't let many people in, only a few people really know her. Shall we start?"

We open the partly healed cut that we opened a week ago.

"She is going to have one hell of a scar," Gaskell remarks.

"I think she prefers being alive with the scar, then dead and without."

"Let's do a perfect job, even when she is weak and paralysed she is still scary."

Just as I see the first piece of bullet, I notice Mr Hanssen in the viewing gallery. I motion to Gaskell, letting him know we have company.

"Can you get the first piece?" I ask Gaskell.

"Just about, it's very close to the spine I have to be very careful. Got it."

"I see the second piece, it's lodged between the spine and the left lung. I think I can get it out." The swelling around the second piece meant it was harder dislodging the bullet piece, but I am successful in taking it out without damaging the tissue further. "Let's close her up."

As we finish the procedure I notice that Hanssen had left without a word. We both return to Darwin and wait for Jac to wake up. I decide to sit in the chair next to her bed on HDU.

"Welcome back," I say as she opens her eyes. "The surgery went without any complications, and you are now bulletless."

"Do you want a medal?" She smiles. "Thank you, I appreciate what you've done."

Gaskell walks in interrupting our moment, "The surgery went well, but the spinal swelling will only go down in a week or two. You should rest a bit." He leaves without any further comments.

"If Donna wants to visit me, I can probably tolerate her presence."

"I'll let her know, but I think we should wait until tomorrow as you need your rest. Zosia also wants to visit you. It will be a while until Ollie's awake, so she won't miss him waking up."

"I'll see tomorrow."

Jac drifts off back to sleep, it's easier giving in to the tiredness that anaesthesia makes you feel, although combined with the blood loss Jac would probably sleep the rest of the day. In the mean time I go and visit the ivory tower.

I knock on Hanssen's door, but I don't get a response so I walk in anyway. Hanssen is looking frazzled by his desk, the most recent newspapers piled neatly on the side. I see Fredrik's face, along with separate pictures of Raf, Ollie and Jac on the front page of the Holby Times.

"If I wanted you to come in, I would have answered."

I ignore his remark, "you watched the surgery," I comment.

"I wanted to see that it went well, which it did."

"Jac, and Ollie's predicament is not your fault. Why don't you visit Jac sometime in the next few days?"

"I'm busy."

"Yes I see that drowning yourself in guilt can be classified as busy. You need to talk to someone, I know Jac is not the most forgiving person, but she doesn't blame you. I know you don't want to open up to me, but my door is always open. I need to go back to Keller."

I leave Hanssen to mull over what I have said, and go to Keller to continue my shift.


	8. Chapter 8

Jac POV

When I wake the day after the surgery I am hit with a banging headache and sore throat. As my eyes adjust to the light in the room, one of the agency nurses comes into HDU to take my observations. Although I don't speak my constant glare encourages to leave the room quickly. I'm not in the mood to have any visitors today. Luck is not on my side as I see Fletch walking towards the room.

"Hi Jac, I thought I'd come by and say hello. How are you feeling today?"

"Like I've had invasive surgery," I manage to croak out.

"Not lost your friendly demeanour I see."

"How was Emma?"

"Cheeky, but sweet. Theo and Emma managed to make a massive mess in the living room on Sunday, play doh and lego everywhere. I think she had a good time, she's welcome back any time."

"Thank you."

"Sacha told me that you were happy to see Donna today. Donna told me she'll be over at around midday."

"Fine" I say, holding back groan.

"If you're not up to it, she can visit another day."

"No it's fine."

"If you're up to it. I'll see you in a bit."

Fletch finally leaves me in peace, allowing me to rest undisturbed for a few hours. I have to admit it is very warm in HDU, so I throw my blanket aside, letting it fall on the floor. With my sore throat and headache I realise I don't feel too well, though it might just be the flu. I'll leave it for now, I don't want to delay my recovery or make Fletch more worried than he already is. I've been a patient for a week, and I am already tired of being stuck in the hospital doing nothing, and being constantly pestered by nurses. I try and read for a bit, though it is hard to concentrate with the headache and the beeping of the machines.

A knock on the door wakes me up, I realise I must have fallen asleep.

"Hey you, how are you doing?" Donna asks.

"I'm alright."

"Why is your blanket on the floor?" Donna enquires, as she goes to pick it up.

"I fell asleep, it must have fallen on the floor." I snipe. I can tell she doesn't believe me. We may have not worked together since 2011, but with her years as a nurse, and experience working with me she can tell when something is wrong.

"You're shivering, you might have a fever."

"I don't want any fuss," I say getting annoyed. "I don't need to be babied by a nurse."

"Look, you are not being babied, you need help. When was the last time sometime took your observations?"

"I may have scared away the nurse." I say sheepishly.

"If you don't let us treat you, then it's like you have let Fredrik win. Raf is dead, Ollie will have permanent brain damage, at least you may be able to make a full recovery. I'm going to get Fletch to do your observations."

Donna leaves the room, but quickly returns with Fletch.

"How many times have I told you to not scare away my nurses," although sounding annoyed Fletch doesn't look to angry. "Jac you have a fever of 38.5˚C, we need to do some bloods, but we might be looking at sepsis and organ failure. Donna can you page Sacha, Jac you need an emergency procedure to clean the infection."

I can't concentrate on what Fletch is saying as the room starts spinning. Time moves quickly as I am prepped for theatre again.

Sacha POV

"Hello Fletch, is our VIP creating more trouble?"

"Sacha Jac is developing sepsis, I need you to clean out the infection. Why did no one notice the infection before it progressed to sepsis?"

"Jac wasn't cooperating with the nurses."

"Typical Jac. Don't worry she'll be fine, if she lets us treat her."

"Do you want me to scrub in with you?"

"Yes, that would be great."

The surgery went well, but I am frustrated that my friend cannot ask for help. Last year she needed an emergency operation, but she continued to work until she collapsed. I feel as though this incident will help us predict how quickly Jac will return back to work after she is discharged. Looking at her notes, she'll need to spend at least a month in hospital, and another further month resting at home. I can see her coming into work the day after she is discharged and not resting. For now Jac has to return to ITU. I sit by her bed and wait for her to wake up.

"Welcome back to the world of the living. I have to say for a world class surgeon, I am concerned that you could not spot an infection."

"Well Sacha I would have to say that you are being a hypocrite, after getting an infection from your liposuction surgery."

"Touché, although last year you tried to operate on Jonny's brother when you needed surgery yourself. To be fair we were all surprised that you did not get an infection after Gaskell and I operated on you in the wet lab. I guess it was a delayed reaction after a second operation."

"How long will I have to stay in ITU?"

"Until we have cleared the infection."

"How is Ollie doing?" Jac asks gesturing her head towards the neighbouring bed.

"The swelling around his brain is receding, but we have no idea how bad his injury is until he wakes up."

"It seems as though there is a negative force around Darwin, slowly everyone except Ollie and me had gone, and then the two of us get shot. Has Hanssen thought about bringing in new members of staff?"

"You need a new consultant, Darwin can't run with just one consultant. I have briefly chatted with Zosia, and I think she wants to stay near Ollie whilst he recovers, so with your approval she will return to work on Darwin."

"I'm not sure if I can afford to say no. It depends on how she is coping with Ollie being a patient on ITU. I'm surprised she's not here, from what I've been told she has barely left Ollie's bedside."

"I'm sure she'll be back soon, why don't you get some rest, the quicker your body fights the infection the quicker we can transfer you out of ITU. Goodnight."


End file.
